Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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