She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Randomize
