the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
