Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
