It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
