i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
