That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
