he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
