Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize