Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
