Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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