If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
