we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
