it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
