Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
