i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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