kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
