I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
