So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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