butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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