If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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