Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Shame - the story of my life.
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