I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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