You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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