I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
