I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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