Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
