Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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