I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
