Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
