he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
