so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
