Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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