i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
