all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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