he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
