stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
