youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
