i permit you to call me
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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