Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
