I want to stick my p in your. b.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
