if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize