Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
