I'm going to jail i love you
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
