i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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