You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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