so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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