It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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