And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
