ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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